Ok ok. Working through this, I just went ahead and ran it in the console. I figure if I mess stuff up, I can just reinstall. It seems to have worked... but the real root of my issue was that I can't figure out how to get wifi going.
SparkyLinux recognizes my wireless adapter in the DDM, but wifi doesn't appear to be an option for network connections. If I click the network manager applet, I see only options for wired connection and VPN. I can manually add a wireless connection, but it doesn't connect to anything because wireless doesn't seem to be enabled.
outputs info on lo and eth0, but says there are no wireless connections.
I'm going to try the windows wireless driver tool.